Things That Make Me Smile-#4

It's adorable the way my nephew's eyes light up when he hears that I'll be coming to his soccer game. This is his first year playing and he absolutely loves it. He gets so excited, it's really cute. I remember when he first started playing in the fall. He never really got close to the ball, but he'd be jumping around excitedly as it was kicked back and forth. Now he goes charging after it and dribbles it down the field. It's amazing to see how he's progressed.

As always, I'd love to hear some things that make you smile :-)

An Honest Mistake

Uh oh, someone's in trouble...

Conversation with my sci-fi obsessed friend:                                                                                                    
Her: Lol, do I sense a disturbance in the force?
Me: You're way too obsessed with Star Trek :-)
Oh no! Wars! I meant to say Star Wars.
Her: (facepalm)… I can't talk to you anymore :-p

Timing is Everything

I'm a very punctual person. I prefer to arrive early, with plenty of time to spare, rather than risk being late. It's something that has been instilled in me from a very young age. My father always made sure we were on time to things. Unless there was a doctor's appointment to go to, I was never really late for school. When it came to an event or party, my family never understood the meaning of 'fashionably late'.

About a month ago, I went on a road trip with some friends. It was a ton of fun, but it really bothered me when we made plans to start the day at around 9am, but in actuality we wouldn't leave until noon. The fact that we left at twelve wasn't really the problem, it was more the fact that, had I known we weren't really leaving until then, my morning would have gone very differently. I felt like I was wasting my time just waiting around for people. I would be up and ready to go when another person would suddenly decide it was a good time to take a shower. The whole trip followed a similar pattern (not nearly as bad though). Eventually, I learned what to expect and I adjusted, but initially I was pretty upset.

As an adult I try to be very time conscious. It's important to be mindful of other people's time. Showing up *late to a class, a job or an appointment of some sort would bother me: I think that makes a person look unreliable and unprofessional. Not to mention the fact that it's also disrespectful. But when it comes to other things, I'm trying to be a bit more relaxed. I'm perfectly okay with not being the first to arrive to a party. And I'm learning to be more flexible when making plans with friends…it's not always easy though.

After discussing my frustrations with my friends things got a lot better. We worked out a system that kept everyone relatively happy. We were able to have an awesome time together and really enjoy the rest of the trip.

*I know that sometimes there are exceptional circumstances…I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about showing up consistently late for no real reason. 

And the Award for Cutest Comment Goes to...

It was dark, so the stars were already out. I was walking outside to the car with my niece and nephew trailing behind me. Suddenly, I hear one of them gasp. Thinking something was wrong I turn around to see what happened. My nephew looks at me horrified, 'oh no!' he cried, 'Hashem forgot to put out the moon!'.

It was so cute! I was trying so hard not to laugh as I explained that it was just hiding behind some clouds. They were so happy when I pointed it out a few minutes later when it reappeared.

Question for Ya'll

So here's the scenario: Guy wants to go out with girl. Girl would also like to go out with guy, but is hesitant because she is shomer negiah and he is not. However, the guy realizes how important it is to the girl and is willing to be shomer negiah for her sake.

Is it a good idea for them to date each other or not?

Marriage 101

Unexpected

Sister: You should be a psychologist or something.
Me: I've thought about it before…why do you say that?
Sister: Because you think like one.
Me: What do you mean?
Sister: You just think weirdly.
Me: Thanks, love you too :-p

My sister said this to me during an argument a discussion we had concerning drug rehabilitation, withdrawal symptoms etc. (I don't know how we end up talking about these things, but at least it's never boring). Now I'm sure what my loving sister really meant was that she sees how patient and empathetic I can be, and that, combined with some other qualities I seem to possess, would make me a great therapist :-).

Psychology is actually one of my majors: I really think it's a fascinating field. At one point I seriously considered it professionally, but I realize that it also requires some things that I don't have. Back when I was trying to think it over, I sat down with the department head and asked him how he can deal with specific patients, encounter certain horrors and still go about his day? How can he seem so untroubled by what he hears?

So, what's the big secret? He can compartmentalize it all. He is able to visit a patient after a gory attempt at suicide and then go out to lunch. He can keep his emotions in check and he doesn't let it get to him.

I know I can't do that.

It's funny how things tend to work out though. I have a friend who's in desperate need of a psychologist: surprisingly, she turned to me. I'm not becoming a psychologist, but sometimes I wish I were. Well actually, I just wish I was more qualified to deal with this situation.

About a year ago this friend revealed to me that she has been suicidal for a large portion of her life and that she has various diagnoses etc. I was completely blindsided at first. I mean, no one would have ever guessed the truth. I was never super close with her, but she always seemed so happy. I'm not sure why she chose to confide in me, but I wanted to help her in any way possible, I just wasn't sure what to do.

In the beginning, I was a little nervous talking to her, worried that I would say the wrong thing. Over time, we began to fall into a pattern of conversation. It was easier when we both lived in the same city. I used to inquire about treatment, help relax her anxiety, encourage her successes, and just listen. I still do these things, but it's a lot harder to do these things over the phone. I used to be able to read her body language and see how bad things really were. It's kinda hard to work through a relaxation technique/breathing exercise with someone when you can't tell how he/she is responding to it.

Recently I spoke with her and I was very happy to hear that she started seeing a therapist that she really respects and likes, but it was a very frustrating conversation. It is really hard to hear how desperate she is to throw her life away, when I know people who are fighting for theirs. It's hard when someone I love is facing majorly invasive life altering surgery and she's contemplating whether it's better to die jumping in front of a truck or swallowing a bunch of pills. It's hard to hear about these things on a good day, but it becomes exceptionally difficult when I'm preoccupied with so many other things. Still, I remind myself that it's not her fault. So I listen, and by the end of the conversation, I still have hope that this will be the therapist who helps her turn her life around.

I've noticed that people tend to turn to me with their troubles and that has helped me realize that I'm a lot stronger than I had originally thought. I used to not be able to handle someone else's pain. It's still hard at times, but knowing that it's a tremendous help to just listen gives me the strength to do it. 'A burden shared is a burden often halved and a joy shared is a joy often doubled'. I share the worry and I say the words that need to be heard: 'everything is going to be all right'. Things may not always turn out the way we want them to, but whatever is meant to happen will happen, and no matter what, together we'll get through it all.

Sometimes, all you can really do is daven and wait…

As far as being overwhelmed by the emotions? I have different outlets to help with that. Music is probably the greatest one. Laughter is also a big one: there are certain things that (almost) never fail to put a smile on my face. Running is pretty awesome too. Though, sometimes crying is the only thing that will help.